Let Them Marry (I Cor 7:10-40)

“But if any man think that he behaves himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sins not: let them marry” (vs36).

Marriage is good. It is an institution ordained by God for the good of mankind, and no one has the right to forbid it. When two believers are of legal age, they have a right to marry. Parents, society, and human opinion have no business defiling what God has made clean. We have NO RIGHT and lack wisdom to put any other qualification on marriage, like education, cultural harmony, or nearness in age. Marriage is given for those that cannot remain single, who are drawn together physically, and they have little or no choice, like the child who likes vanilla, in what they’re attracted to.

If you want happiness in this world, then live by what God says and NOTHING else. Don’t IMPRESS people or SEEK things for yourself in CONTRADICTION to the scripture. Put your trust in Christ, and you will live the BEST life can give you.

1. Take the peace that God gives, “God has called us to peace” (I Cor 7:12-15). No one wants the shame of a failed marriage, but you cannot stop the UNBELIEVING from departing. Live for God’s glory in the home, live that they know God, knowing that you are the light of the world and the home. But, if SERVING God in your home will not make the spouse happy, then let them go, be at peace yourself, and be free of sin. You may have caused the unbelieving to depart because of your past, and now you regret the errors of your ways. Perhaps, repentance came late, you saw your sins, but it was too late in the sinner’s mind, and they departed, breaking the marriage vows and living in fornication. If this is the case, repent of the evil you have done, and walk in peace now. The Lord God says that you’re free to marry (I Cor 7:27-28). It is not on you to keep your spouse happy in the marriage; it is only on you to serve God, and having done that, even if something fails… the marriage, the friendship, the church, the job… you have been called unto peace. Don’t try to rebuild what is destroyed, as if it is commanded.

2. We have a right to improve the condition that we were saved in, “Are you called being a servant? Care not for it: but if you may be made free, use it rather” (I Cor 7:20-21). If I’m a servant, I can work hard, be clever, pray to God, and improve my condition by promotion or being set free. I do not have the RIGHT to disobey God to gain my freedom, but I have every right to pray for and improve myself.

God is not opposed to wealth, but it isn’t the issue. He isn’t opposed to earthly happiness, having given us the herbs of the field and commandment to have a “little wine” for our often infirmities (I Tim 5:23). He doesn’t oppose us being happy and healthy in this world, so long as it is joined with obedience.

You don’t have to be sick, poor, or down and out because you are saved. You may be, but it isn’t mandatory and there is no extra holiness in these conditions. Often, people think, “I’m saved, so I can’t get promoted, I can’t finish school, and I can’t achieve anything, because God wants me miserable or poor, and he will reward me later”. Christ DIED for your sins, and He won’t use our self-imposed misery to accomplish His will; it is self-righteousness and a DENIAL of grace.

3. Trouble is involved in every marriage, “But and if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you” (I Cor 7:28). You and I cannot serve God as FREELY in marriage as we did as virgins. We have responsibility to someone else. Yet, we STILL have responsibility to serve God, and we cannot allow the spouse to DISTRACT from that, “But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remains, that both they that have wives be as though they had none” (I Cor 7:29). Serve God by SERVING the spouse and spend your life honoring Him.

4. Only marry, “In the Lord” (I Cor 7:39). Marry someone the scripture approves of, a brother, a sister, a spouse (I Cor 9:5).

Don’t marry to fulfill your lust; marry to fulfill the word of God. Don’t live by your passions and desires; live by the word of God. Enter things that He’s ordained and stay away from things that He has not (II Tim 1:8). Build everything on the right foundation, and you won’t have to moan and say, “I gave myself to what profits not”; I built on personality and pleasure, rather than the word. Build on God’s honor in every area of life (I Cor 3:11).

Defraud You Not One Another (I Cor 7:3-5)

Defraud You Not One Another (I Cor 7:3-5)

“Let the husband render to the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife to the husband. The wife has not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband has not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud you not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”

The marriage bed is a place of sharing, and we are to unrestrainedly give to each other. We are not to say, “I will deny you, because you did me wrong”. We are to go to the fount of God’s love in Christ Jesus and receive grace from God to give ourselves in love to one another, serving each other. The marriage bed is the RIGHT of the husband or wife, even as love is owed to every man, and every sinner has the gospel preached unto them. We are not to say, “too evil” and rend the scriptures to appease our hearers, but we are to preach Christ as clearly as we can, exalting the freeness of His love to sinners, the love that makes pure.

Do not deny your spouse and do not deny one another the love that is due.

Secondly, the husband and wife relationship is for life – “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if she depart, let her remain UNMARRIED, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife” (I Cor 7:10-11). Marriage is not an institution to get in and out of. It represents the BELIEVERS relationship with Christ, which is eternal. There is JUST CAUSE for separation and divorce, and we don’t bind believers with anything that God does not, but excluding abandonment and fornication, divorce is not to be entered into. Let husband and wife separate, if they cannot lovingly dwell together, but let them resolve to never marry, date, or flirt with another person, because they are as married in their separate estate, as ever.

Believers seek grace from God to RECONCILE the situation, in the hope that God grants peace where humans have trampled in trouble. But, don’t remarry, and don’t take marriage lightly. Enter into the covenant seriously, and use the means that God has appointed to procure peace.

Live with the spouse how God has commanded, and if that doesn’t work, then live alone. But, never dishonor Christ with remarriage. He that marries her that is put away does commit adultery (Matt 5:32).

Thirdly, husbands and wives face the temptation of leaving spiritual things to honor each other, forsaking the worship and glory of God for each others’ arms – “But this I say, brothers, the time is short: it remains, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passes away (I Cor 7:29-31).” We are not to LEAVE Christ in order to please the spouse, but we are to honor God with the spouse, being motivated by God’s glory and doing the spouse good.

People may say, “I’m married, so I’ll stay at home”, when in other times, they were zealous to hear the gospel. Then family issues come up, and Christ is removed to the back burner. This necessitates grace from God, but it is the trouble that married people go through, as they are challenged to honor God with the more they have. The proverb says, “Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: lest I be full, and deny you, and say, Who is the Lord? Or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain”. This happens in marriage, when people are TOO RICH for God, and in the single estate, when they are TOO POOR, so He gives us MARRIAGE and temperance: we live for God’s glory in thankfulness for His love, using His GIFTS to praise Him, instead of destroying ourselves in idolatry and intemperance.

Finally, if we will be happy, then we’ll live as God sees fit, in both the single and the married estate – “There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband” (I Cor 7:34). If we want blessing upon our home, then we may have it. Live God’s way and it is yours. But, the RECIPE is God’s, and we do err thinking to find it elsewhere.