“And when he saw [that Jezebel was determined to kill him], he arose, and went for his life, and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.” (vs3-4)
I must come to grips with the fact that I’m a sinner, no better than anyone else, etc. There is nothing I won’t do, and things that I have not done in a long time, I will do, if given the chance and unrestrained by God. I, like you and all others, am a sinner, undone, and DEPRAVED. My hope is not that life is easy, or I’m less evil than I was before - before I wrote this article, or the season after it. My hope is that God is GRACIOUS to me as I am, gives me repentance, and helps me by grace, pardoning and giving me all that I need, each time I come home (Luke 15:23).
Ruth expected only tiny mercies, but she married Boaz the mighty and wealthy redeemer (Ruth 2:2). Likewise, I may fear returning to God’s love, but I will be ashamed and depraved if I try any other thing. My hope is to come back and take the Master at His words. He says, “if he trespass against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to you, saying, I repent; you shall forgive him”, so I say to all sinners far and near, especially those who believe God, come back to Him again (Luke 17:4). Your sin has taught you that you are evil and God is praised for salvation. Let your faith be in Christ, let your sin keep you humble in self, and let it make you and me proclaim God’s glory in FORGIVING, and FORGIVING, and FORGIVING sin.
We are not a band of “holier than thou’s” or people who have conquered anything. Elijah, a greater man than me, was a man subject to like passions as me. He fought and prevailed, and then he sunk into despair (1 Kings 19:3-4). He was HUMAN and thereby frail (James 5:17). The best man among us is TOTALLY depraved in himself, no matter what we see, and he groans over REPEATED transgressions and sins he thought that he forgot.
Give all glory to grace in Christ and trust this God, instead of yourself, for STRENGTH to do His will. Do not think you can prevail or have grown beyond TOTAL dependence on Christ. Do not think you’re unloved, and that blessings are too good for you. How can we fight, without God (Heb 9:14)?
Do not say, “I’m a sinner, so I will sin”. Say, “I’m forgiven. Thanks to God for helping me, and He, not me, will help me still”. Our Lord says in Isaiah 30:18, “And therefore will the Lord wait“, until our strength is gone, “that he may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted“, by both pardoning and power-giving love, “that he may have mercy upon you“, pity to the miserable, “for the Lord is a God of judgment“, doing what is right, exalting grace and not ourselves, “blessed are all they that wait for him“. He shall not fail to save anyone that He forgives; He will not leave them slaves to sin or Satan. Our Lord’s word to the woman taken in adultery is soothing to us all, “Neither do I condemn you: go, and sin no more” (John 8:11).
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