Fear and Preaching (A. Toplady)

Fear is, sometimes, apt to beset those who, of all persons in the world, should have nothing to do with it, unless to trample it under their feet. I mean, the ministers of God's word. O ye standard-bearers of the Most High, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might. Good Mrs. Ayscough, who was burned for the Protestant faith, when she was offered her pardon at the stake, on condition she would renounce the truth, cried out, with holy indignations, I did not come hither to deny my Lord and master. I desire to remember her words, every time I ascend the pulpit. A mincing, timid, partial declaration of the gospel is a virtual denial of Christ himself. Rather die, with the gospel standard in your hands, than resign a thread of it to the enemy: like heroic Valasco, the Spanish general, who, when the Havannah was taken by the English scorned to surrender the national flag, and nobly expired with his colours wrapped round his arm. But there are seasons of personal dryness and darkness, when fear, like an armed man, assaults the faith and liveliness of God's ambassadors. They are, perhaps, at a loss even for a subject to preach from. All resources seem to be shut up. They flit in their own minds, from text to text, and for a long time can fix on none. They cry, in secret, "Lord, how can we spread the table for the people, except thou bring the venison to our hands?" or, with the disciples of old, "whence shall we have bread for the multitude here in the wilderness? The dear people flock to the word as doves to their windows; and we, alas have little or nothing to feed them with." At such times of doubt and barrenness, cast yourself at large upon God, and distribute the word as you are enabled. In all probability, the fishes and the loaves will increase in your hands, and God will administer bread enough and to spare. It is kind and wise of the Holy Spirit to make us feel that we are nothing, and that the excellency of the power is of him and not of us. The lesson of dependence upon his arm of grace alone is profitable, though not always palatable, to our proud, deceitful hearts. To the glory of the divine faithfulness I say it, that, for my own part, some of my happiest pulpit-opportunities have been when I have gone up the stairs with trembling knees and a dejected spirit: nay (twice or thrice in my life-time) when I have been so far reduced as to be unable to fix on a text, till the psalm or hymn was almost over. These are not desirable trials: but they redound, however, to the praise of Him who has said. Without me ye can do nothing; and whose almighty love can bring light out of darkness, even out of darkness that may be felt.

Taken from, "The Believer and His Fears"
http://www.gospeltidings.org.uk/library/7/2/2.htm