Defraud You Not One Another (I Cor 7:3-5)

Defraud You Not One Another (I Cor 7:3-5)

“Let the husband render to the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife to the husband. The wife has not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband has not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud you not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”

The marriage bed is a place of sharing, and we are to unrestrainedly give to each other. We are not to say, “I will deny you, because you did me wrong”. We are to go to the fount of God’s love in Christ Jesus and receive grace from God to give ourselves in love to one another, serving each other. The marriage bed is the RIGHT of the husband or wife, even as love is owed to every man, and every sinner has the gospel preached unto them. We are not to say, “too evil” and rend the scriptures to appease our hearers, but we are to preach Christ as clearly as we can, exalting the freeness of His love to sinners, the love that makes pure.

Do not deny your spouse and do not deny one another the love that is due.

Secondly, the husband and wife relationship is for life – “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if she depart, let her remain UNMARRIED, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife” (I Cor 7:10-11). Marriage is not an institution to get in and out of. It represents the BELIEVERS relationship with Christ, which is eternal. There is JUST CAUSE for separation and divorce, and we don’t bind believers with anything that God does not, but excluding abandonment and fornication, divorce is not to be entered into. Let husband and wife separate, if they cannot lovingly dwell together, but let them resolve to never marry, date, or flirt with another person, because they are as married in their separate estate, as ever.

Believers seek grace from God to RECONCILE the situation, in the hope that God grants peace where humans have trampled in trouble. But, don’t remarry, and don’t take marriage lightly. Enter into the covenant seriously, and use the means that God has appointed to procure peace.

Live with the spouse how God has commanded, and if that doesn’t work, then live alone. But, never dishonor Christ with remarriage. He that marries her that is put away does commit adultery (Matt 5:32).

Thirdly, husbands and wives face the temptation of leaving spiritual things to honor each other, forsaking the worship and glory of God for each others’ arms – “But this I say, brothers, the time is short: it remains, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passes away (I Cor 7:29-31).” We are not to LEAVE Christ in order to please the spouse, but we are to honor God with the spouse, being motivated by God’s glory and doing the spouse good.

People may say, “I’m married, so I’ll stay at home”, when in other times, they were zealous to hear the gospel. Then family issues come up, and Christ is removed to the back burner. This necessitates grace from God, but it is the trouble that married people go through, as they are challenged to honor God with the more they have. The proverb says, “Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: lest I be full, and deny you, and say, Who is the Lord? Or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain”. This happens in marriage, when people are TOO RICH for God, and in the single estate, when they are TOO POOR, so He gives us MARRIAGE and temperance: we live for God’s glory in thankfulness for His love, using His GIFTS to praise Him, instead of destroying ourselves in idolatry and intemperance.

Finally, if we will be happy, then we’ll live as God sees fit, in both the single and the married estate – “There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband” (I Cor 7:34). If we want blessing upon our home, then we may have it. Live God’s way and it is yours. But, the RECIPE is God’s, and we do err thinking to find it elsewhere.

To Avoid Fornication (I Cor 7:1-2)

“Now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”

Marriage is to avoid fornication. It is not for the romance novel. God gave us specific instructions on marriage, and we are wise if we heed them. He says, “But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn”, and we are wise to believe what God says, rather than the story book romance of this world (I Cor 7:9). If God gives sexual attraction between believers, then to avoid fornication, we marry, because we seek the glory of God who gave us marriage, which is better than burning in lusts.

This burning is forbidding yourself from having what God gave you to satisfy your needs. He has given marriage, and the bed is pure between husband and wife. We are to use those things that God GIVES us, in order to live the best we can and the happiest we can in the world.

He says, “But he that is married cares for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife”, and He gives the recipe for happiness in this (I Cor 7:33). If we are single, then we live to serve God in holiness. If we are married, then we please our spouse, which is how happiness comes our way. In every station of life, doing it God’s way is the way of peace amidst the storm. Sin says, “Serve me”, but it doesn’t give the peace that it promises. Obedience says, “Serve me, and in due time, you shall reap, if you faint not”. You and I may not be in love with someone in worldly sense, but if we have attraction and shared faith, if we yearn to be together sexually, then we have found our spouse and just cause of marriage.

You may have married the wrong person or come to Christ after wedlock, but the path of peace is SERVING that spouse to the glory of God, living that He would be worshiped, and obeying Him, entrusting your peace to Him who commands and gives power. He, not we ourselves or anyone else, is our Rewarder. And, our Reward is believing upon, seeing, and being in harmony with God. He will reward us with Himself. Christ said, “You shall make me full of joy with your countenance”, so that seeing God is the cause of joy, and He reveals Himself to the faithful (Acts 2:28). We will see more of God obeying God, than we can see in sin. And, it is better to obey than to serve the lusts of men.

Don’t take what anyone says over Christ and the scripture. This is peace.